Walking on the Lonely Road Myself

Saturday, October 22, 2005

hmmmm...juz realised tt i haven been posting lately...guess u wld think tt i m much better since there isnt much for me to blog about...haf true haf not true....puting a brave front in front in front of everybody isnt an easy task...especially nt to make them worry...for the past 2 weeks, i have been immersed into my assignment n test which made me avoid everyone ard me....seldom dwn at 5th floor [hope dey felt my absence...lol]
this is a good time for me not to face so many ple wen my times are down...but nt seeing dem, i can fully concentrate on my work without having to tink of my probs....
was a little sad n pissed with my sis last weekend wen she insist that i work during the holis...kk...nt tt i am a lazy bum its coz of my 2 sports commitment tt made me held bk my tot of working parttime....my sis insist tt worst cum to worse, work nite shift in factory...i admit tt i was abit selfish to tink of nt working....
but nw i realised tt there isnt much choice for me as my mum is getting unemplyed cuming mth n my dad......sucks.....lazy to tok abt him anymore....no $ dun contribute much n yet spend on unnecessary things...haiz...wad a family.....though nw i m supporting myself, i still needa save sum $ to be my mum's atm....lending her $ to tide over is equivalent to not letting myself eat good food...nt tt i m complaining but i m getting abit sick of not eating out for lunch le....
alrite ....all these are giing me headache...n i duno y i still have the space to put him in and waste my brain space..sigh.....
yes...saying tt i recovered totlly is juz a mask put on in front of my frens....i m actuali still quite affected by him...and his actions.....
i m nt sure if i m being too sensitive but....somehow...i feel tt we are no longer better frens as wad others sees us to be le.....i m kinda dissappointed....in the sense of [y shld good frens end up iin this way?]
saying that he still cant accept it ok....but i m like super normal towards him tt i reali duno wad to tok to him abt wen i m with him....example, the other dae i saw him on sub bus...one bustop seems so far for us...i duno wad to tok to him abt....its juz nt normal me....i wld be as chatty but wen i c his uninterested face, i m loss for words....
all i see is BLACK FACE BLACK FACE BLACK FACE...and uninterested voice or reply...as in he cant wait to chase me away man....wad the hell!!!!!!y do u have to behave like this?dun tink tt u are so attactive can anot....dun tink tt u r so impt can or not....u are NOT!!!!
i pity this new ger who is goin to step into my footsteps....crushes on him?better not!!!!
warn u!he has got a GOOD fren in sum idiot blk who is beside him al the time....Shit wad' i will avoid those who treat me good so tt dey will nt be able to do so..' my foot!!!!u say tt to me n do tt to me but nt the others....y??!?!?!?!???!?
fancy allowing sum ple to bring grapes specially for u frm sum idiot blk...hahah...u tink tt is for frens meh....frens will juz ask u to walk over to their blk n eat n nt specialy bring it to u la...idiot...
so u call this avoid?
side track{ is our blk reali tt attractive?that we can attract ple frm a blk tt is so far?jinxian aso...lol...dinah ask him for chocolate?e blk no chocolate meh?hahaa...eb lk no coaches for u to appraoch?} my foot....
is my understanding o fsentences lousy or is tt yr way of forming sentence is wrong...hate it wen u sae it n dun do it....flirt n flirt with gers....duno hw manymore victims goin to die aso man....pitiful pitiful....
nw all i can do is to find tings for me to hate u in order to balance the like i have for u....guess this is the only way to make me treat u normal fren bah...